Day 17

Crazy.

Today. That sums it up. Crazy is how I feel. My anxiety took me on a paranoia journey today. I still had the headache on my left side leftover from last night. All day I worked with my sun glasses on to block out the bright lights in the office. I must have heard, " Why are you wearing sun glasses?" a million times. Several times my Ally McBeal persona in my head wanted to yell, " because I ^&*(!@# want to!!!!!!!" Luckily, I finished all my work early and my boss let me leave an hour earlier. Would be ideal to be able to leave because I felt great and was leaving for a fantastic trip somewhere beautiful and amazing.

Back to reality.

PARANOIA - A crazy symptom of anxiety. There are times where I feel like I can trust no one. Not like the government is out to get me or anything like that. I just feel that I can't trust my friends, new or lifelong, family, spouse, etc. I feel like people are talking bad about me behind my back. I feel like people are out to hurt me intentionally. When I go thru these bouts of paranoia I tend to get moody, if you will, and alienate myself completely. All I want to do is tell people to *#@! Off ! I don't typically give a rats @$$ what people say or think about me, but during my bouts with this paranoia it becomes my obsession.

When I was in school I never cared. I was so free spirited and social. I was a cheerleader and then I was in the drama club. Along came the past to haunt me, life to knock me down, and anxiety to torment me!  I go thru these horribly depressing pity parties. I want to cry and feel sorry for myself, though I don't. I still get these urges to do so. It annoys me. Then there is the agitation. Anything and everything aggravates me. I know that I need to talk to a therapist. Step one: Therapist.

Yesterday, at lunch I was driving back toward the office when my friend in the passenger seat screamed,"Ahh. Oh my God, Oh my God." I was looking all over the place trying to figure out why she was call the Almighty One. I kept looking all over, thinking someone in the parking lot was wearing one of those infamous Walmart type of attires. Found nothing. Then the friend in the back seat yells, "Look." Well, I finally notice after my friends point to show me. A huge tree frog was on my windshield. The little guy fell right from the sky and smack onto my windshield. As I am driving we are all freaking out. For some reason we were being complete girls. He was kinda cute, but still a frog. Ewe. He starts walking along the windshield toward my drivers side. We are still in the parking lot. I then get onto the main road and begin driving faster. I lock my doors and double check my windows to make sure he doesn't get in with his Super Frog powers. Next thing you see is Super Frog attempting to continue to walk along my windshield. His one leg lifts up and up and over the roof he goes. We were thinking that he was going to be chilling on my roof. We even all were hesitant to get out of the car once we parked.

                   R.I.P - SUPER FROG

Super Frog was scary, but cute. He feared not the fall to which landed him on my windshield. Nor did he fear the swooping wind that flipped him over my roof and into the air. It was off into the air where he disappeared  on June 3, 2010 forever. You will always be Super Frog to us. 

This Diary in remembrance of the Frog that literally fell from the sky.

Me