I am at a crossroads with friends right now. I am to the point that I need to "Clean House." I have acquaintance type of friends that I have taken on as friends in my mind. Only they really aren't. The question I have been asking myself is, Is it worth it? Is it worth having those acquaintance "fake" friends.
My issue is I wear my emotions on my fingertips. Anyone who really knows me would know this. Not having a strong family structure, I tend to value my friends and cherish the relationships built a lot more than maybe someone else. With that being said, I can turn ice cold within an instant and completely shut you out of my life with a swift kick in the @$$!
So, again I ask myself is my energy worth investing in these so called "friends?" The real fake friends that you would help out with anything, but when you need help it is on an as convenient for them type of basis.The friends that don't have the respect to tell you that something you may have said pissed them off. The friends that don't have the respect or care to even ask why you may be acting distant or colder than usual. The friends who simply in a nut shell don't care.
It is ironic because I am very choosy with whom I let into my world. At the same time I try to give everyone the "friend opportunity." Wearing my emotions on my fingertips often is a weakness that the whole world can see and manipulate to their advantage. It is part of my astrological makeup.
When I let little things bother me I get so angry with myself. I feel like I am playing the "victim" role. Then my anxiety entertains itself and I begin to Analyze every action, reaction and word that was said. I loathe that about myself. It would be more productive for me to use these emotions towards something else. Separate the Real from the fake and the real fake. Put that energy wasted on those fake and real fake friends towards something else.
People don't want to see others succeed. They want to suck the life out of everyone they can so that they themselves can succeed. I think, why not be helpful to one another and maybe we all can obtain our goals. That mentality was thrown out the window long ago.I believe in vampires. Not in the blood sucking erotic type. The people that are miserable and want to bring you down, the people who stab you in the back, the people who direct you purposefully toward the wrong direction. The fake people, and the real fake people are all vampires in my eyes. They suck the life, and energy straight from you. You are then left with nothing but a feeling of drained emptiness.
From here on out. I extend no invitation into my home. All you energy suckers go get your high somewhere else.
Me
1 comment:
OK so first, we all go through this where we realize who our friends really are and we have to compartmentalize the ones who are the "fakes". Meaning, we come to grips with the fact that Sally is only good for going to chick flicks with or Mary will party with you, but can't hold an intelligent conversation. It's OK that not everyone fits the best friend mold. Second, read The Five Love Languages. That book helped me and 2 of my sisters understand that everyone shows love differently and what you might see as being a jerk, maybe they weren't even aware of. Having said all of that, it's true that there are toxic friends that you have to cut ties with. When you're been open minded and accepting, but they'r still totally self-absorbed, you may need to call it quits. On a last note, remember that anxiety leads to paranoia and paranoia makes everyone into "the enemy". Try to be aware of when you're over analyzing. The part that you said about people not wanting other people to succeed I don't agree with. If all of the people in your life have taught you that then I do feel sorry for you and you do need to get some new friends! Good friends encourage each other, because truthfully, if you surround yourself with successful and happy people you're more likely to become that yourself (successful being defined as whatever you think successful is, not meaning rich). Supportive and unconditional friendships don't try to drag each other down and are not jealous of each other.
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