Day 10

Dear Me,

Life is like a large jawbreaker. You keep licking and licking and you can never reach the center of that damn thing. You still wake up every day take that jawbreaker out of it's germ invested container and lick and lick. With still no progress you place it back into it's container to grow more germs until the next attempt to reach the center and finish it off . It seems you work and work...AND WORK. Most people anyways. What is there to show for it? A body that is lazy, tired and weak. A mind that has zero motivation to expand on any topic.
Today, I am just tired of working so hard and getting nowhere fast.

I was watching just a glimpse of , So You Think You Can Dance on t.v. I get so inspired by these young adults going after their dreams. Some of them exalt their passion when they dance and it really brings me to tears sometimes. To see someone so beautifully vulnerable. It is something that you don't see every day.
I think to myself," Hell Yeah, I think I can dance!"
Only problem is I am not 18, 19 or 20 anymore and I really can't dance.
Really. I think I can dance when I have had a few drinks, but I have two left feet and I am a magnet for awkward movement. I get this from my mother.
I remember at a dance class my mother and I took years ago she was a mess.She took every movement about a minute or so after everyone else. Some women in the back started whispering and poking fun at my mother. I wanted nothing more than to make one of my Ally McBeal moments a reality. Those Bitches! I couldn't believe that they were older women with children of their own and they were being childish. Again, all I can think are those Bitches!!!! Shame. Shame. Shame on them!

I am having a glass of red wine tonight because all day I was thinking about how I have no money to do anything. We are getting a free dishwasher hand me down from a friend, have to help another friend paint this weekend, and are promised to attend a 21st birthday bash at a gentleman's club this weekend. Just thinking of all that stuff that is just stuff to do makes me want a glass of wine. I am sipping and visualizing myself at a lush spa getting my feet rubbed and scalp massaged. Ahhhhhhhh!

On that note. I am going to catch up on some much needed exercise as yesterday was my break day.

One day at a time,

Me